Visits to the Psychologist - Valentine

Today, we have the immense pleasure of welcoming Valentine, co-founder of Clean that face, to talk to us about seeing a psychologist. It’s a path that’s often misunderstood, sometimes judged, but oh so essential. Valentine breaks the silence and sincerely shares her journey toward mental well-being with us.

Shrink appointments 💗

"No, but you're not sick. "

"Why do you have to go see a shrink?"

"The shrinks won't help you, you need to take some time for yourself". LOL.

All these phrases come from conversations I've had at least once with my family and friends.

One day I wondered how shrinks ended up in such critical situations. And then it hit me.

In fact, we're afraid to go and see a shrink, becausewe're afraid of facing up to the harsh reality of being what we are. We're afraid to ask questions, afraid of finding the answer to a question we don't want to hear.

In fact, we're afraid to be ourselves.

We prefer to rally around clichés, groups and trends, rather than learn about our true behavior.

I went to see a shrink. In EMDR, to be precise. Why did you go?

Because I felt that at some point, if I didn't confront myself, I'd lose the people I care most about. I didn't want to limit myself to a little "it'll be fine, it's a pass" "I think I'm overreacting". NO.

I prefer to tell myself that the sooner I confront my traumas, my past, the sooner I'll be free of the weight I carry: the totally wounded me.

I have no taboos about talking about my appointments, my trauma of my parents' divorce, my fear of abandonment, my lack of self-esteem. I even find it makes things less dramatic, even though, to be honest, my shrink's appointments used to start and end with me crying, questioning and feeling like a zombie for two days.

Until the day I arrived and stopped crying. That's when I told myself that I had confronted my fears, my demons, my feeling of being trapped in a situation that was totally undesirable to me. I was calm, replaying for the last time the episode that had created more than 10 years of crisis, fear, guilt, tears and anger. More than 10 years that I was able to come to terms with, having taken the gamble of confronting my self-image.

Would I have been able to do all this without going to my therapist 5 times for EMDR?

I think I've answered the question. Going to see a psychologist doesn't rhyme with illness, and certainly shouldn't rhyme with taboo. Going to see a psychologist allows people like me, who don't necessarily dare to dramatize their problems, but who feel trapped within themselves, to put their traumas into words, to understand why they happened and how to get out of them.

When I was 14, I asked to see a shrink, but was refused because "there was no point". I'm convinced that if I'd gone to see him then, my traumas wouldn't be haunting me today. But it wasn't until I was 24 that I took matters into my own hands.

Conclusion: seeing a shrink doesn't mean you're sick; agreeing to see a shrink means accepting that something is not easy to see, and that you can no longer live with this burden. To want to see a shrink is to accept that the road to recovery will be long but beautiful.

Seeing a shrink means having the courage and maturity to want to get better. And that's something everyone should know.

In short, going to see a shrink is complicated, but it's so good to feel liberated!