Le festin d'Estelle - Not wanting children
As the streets and stores are decked out in their festive finery, and the melodies of Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey are once again ringing out, a very special time is on the horizon.
Behind thefestive atmosphere of the festive season sometimes lies a completely different reality: stress, tension, conflict...
At Nidéco, we believe that the festive season should above all be synonymous with well-being and open discussion. That's why, at this special time of year, we've decided to set the taboo subjects free with a unique initiative in collaboration with our co-creators:
"Le Festin Nidéco
Today, our new guest is Estelle, co-creator of Hair yeah, who tells us about her decision not to have children: a conscious choice, not always respected:
Not wanting children 🌞
"The mental load on sentimental life / future on couple or single / having children, is really a n-1 of family dinner conversations where no one understands our point of view.
Personally, I underwent a permanent sterilization, which meant I could no longer have children. Of course, my parents didn't understand (and still don't). I left the man I'd been living with for 8 years and with whom I was due to get married, so you can imagine the atmosphere at family dinners...
What could be more disconcerting than a FAMILY meal where you feel judged and misunderstood by the people you love the most?
I'm 29, and I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't have children.
A decision misunderstood by all the over-50s in my family.
They have experienced immense happiness in building their proposed family and raising their children. It's impossible for them to imagine that I'd want to miss out on this "happiness".
During these long meals, I have too often heard the famous :
"you're too young, you'll change your mind".
"it's selfish
"you'll see, when it's YOUR children, it's not the same".
"you are a woman, you were made for this".
I ended up noticing that in the end, they were just afraid for me... afraid I'd make the "wrong" decision, afraid I'd regret my choice...
I'm very happy to have been able to answer their questions and reassure them about what I wanted for myself ... in MY life.
Showing them that you can be fulfilled and blossom in ways other than motherhood is one of my small victories.
I also feel they are now more open and tolerant of the fact that we are all different, and that everyone has their own way of achieving fulfillment in life."
